http://dsscircuits.com/articles/effects ... -resistors
So it did not occur to me that this could be a problem, especially at a 100khz speed. To make the display work with the esp, I had already tried different values from 1.5k to 10K, but my code was not correct when I was doing this, so kind of a catch 22 situation, and also finally got a LA on my bench, which by the way was pretty cheap ($9.00).
Anyway, I wound up using 2.7k and that worked. Now I will make a habit of checking the signals with a scope and not assuming. I am just happy it works and I learned a lot while trying.